Poisoned!

Savithramma sat on her chair, gazing at the sky through the open window. She could see dark clouds moving nearer. With a sigh, she tore her eyes away from the sight, and looked back towards the door, bending a little. No one. She sighed again. Such a quiet time in this house was rare. The kids were at school. Jaya was in the kitchen, cooking. She willed herself to get up and move towards the bed, a bed that used to be comfortable years ago. Now, it was lumpy. Sleeping on it was such an ordeal. But, she had barely any choice. She grumbled about Jaya, cursing her under her breath.

She remembered the good old days, when she and Jaya would sit and talk, watch tele serials and laugh together. Things had been good then. And then, the twins had come along. Initially she had been thrilled. Her grandchildren!! The little ones, a marvel. What beauties they had been! And then, the nights were filled with wailing and crying. Shivu's income had suddenly started to seem so limited. The house had suddenly felt small. Jaya spent sleepless nights, taking care of the kids. She grew impatient, and tired. Jaya got too busy for her. No more laughters shared with Jaya, no gossips and long conversations. Jaya had no time for her. All she did was cooking and taking care of the kids. The distance seemed to grow between them day by day. Little did she realize that the distance that she felt was only in her heart. The distance had increased, day by day, and then, there were fights. She tried to boss over Jaya , thus pushing her further away, which left her feeling unwanted. In quiet times like these, when she was left alone, her past came back to her, to taunt her, to haunt her.

Her father, actually step father, had died, leaving this house to her. When she got married, this house had been given to her husband. Dowry had been so common then. It was just another custom. Not like these days. The step father had been alive. Her husband, the one whom she had ignored in order to take care of her aging father, to take care of her growing children, had now passed away, leaving her alone. She knew she was to be blamed. She had not taken care of her diabetic husband. Even though she knew he always needed food on time, she had ignored his pleas. Along with her father, she had teased and taunted her husband, when he had gone out alone to eat in restaurants. She had made him a laughing stock of the relatives, and friends. Little did they know of a diabetic man's hunger. Slowly, he had died out emotionally, and then one day, he was gone. Diabetes had taken him. The guilt had begun that day. Sometime later, Her father had withered away and died too. She had taken care of him well till the end. He had taken care of his security by making his son-in-law a laughing stock in the eyes of his daughter. But had he thought of what would happen to her, later on?

Everyday now, she would sit and think of all the 'if's and 'but's. She had lost her husband, way too soon. If she had paid him a little more attention, today he probably would have been with her. She was the one getting ignored today. She knew, how her husband must have felt back then. But then , she corrected herself. His wife, his own wife had ignored him. She would never know how he may have felt. Here she was ,sitting, at ten in the morning, waiting for breakfast. Hunger was gnawing away at her stomach. But then, Jaya had been busy getting the children ready for school, and packing their lunch. Shivu had been at work since early morning. With almost no help, Jaya had to handle all the household chores. She understood Jaya's constraints too. But then, she felt ignored. She felt the pain, being at the receiving end . She knew, heart of hearts, that Jaya was not ignoring her on purpose. But ocassionally, the feeling surfaced,haunted her, that she was being ignored, not taken care of. And she cursed and fought, thus increasing the distance. Making herself lonely, further. She knew she was digging her own grave. But then, it was a mind that had been poisoned. A poisoned mind would never think straight. Would it?